Anonymous, Lady Gaga Beat Barack Obama on Time’s 100 Most Influential People List

I don’t like top ten lists and top 100 lists are even worse. I remember years back when some network offered up the most influential people of the 20^th Century and I’m still wondering how  Princess Diana made that list.

But yet again, it’s that time of  the year for Time Magazine and the votes are in! I was a little surprised that Anonymous (395,793) beat out both Lady Gaga (32,393) and Barack Obama (25,373).

First off, I’m sure all of you are wondering: “Who is anonymous?” Well, I’d love to say it’s me because I do think I have that savoir-faire no one else has but unfortunately, I am not anonymous.

Network and computer hackers fall under the top spot, aka anonymous and all I can say is wow people. I think “anonymous” is really Rupert Murdoch in disguise. I mean after all, he did hack a lot of cell phones. Well, maybe not personally but he knew what was going on. Think former Secretary of the Treasury Henry “Hank” Paulson here and how he ignored CDOs at the beginningof the 2008 economic crisis. You can’t tell me the guy didn’t have any inside information from Wall Street—the guy worked there for years!

The more I think about it, hackers are the worst of the worst and they do seem to spread viruses, infect us with worms, send us spam, get our personal information and then pretend to be us—that’s pretty influential! Okay Anonymous, I just gave you some kudos so leave me alone! Yet again, because hackers are a “group” and not one “person” shouldn’t they be on Time Magazine’s top 100 groups of people list?

Now, on to Lady Gaga. I’m sorry people but I can’t connect to anyone that calls themselves Lady Gaga. I have nothing more to say about her except that she’s too young to think she knows it all and if her fans thinks she knows it all, they’re, well, stupid.

A lot of other people received more votes from the Time Magazine poll. Some people’s names mean nothing to me where others I was a little surprised to see. Erik Martin, who runs Reddit came in at number two on the list but I really don’t use Reddit.

Tim Tebow (11,502) beat out Alec Baldwin (12,245) which scares me because next year after Anonymous, the top most influential person will be John 3:16!

Some people shouldn’t even be on this poll and who are the big shots that decide who gets on the poll? I guess the little folks (you and me) could have voted for our favs, but it’s too late now. Not that I care because browsing through 100 names is more than I can take—I can hardly take top ten lists!

Imran Khan came in at number five and if you read his bio it says and I swear: “The Pakistani former cricket star and international playboy has reincarnated himself as a pious, populist politician and shaken up the political scene in his troubled South Asian homeland.” Okay, he slept around, got tired of that and said, heck politicking sounds fun. But then again, James Bond movie star Daniel Craig got 12,100 votes so heck, he’s a playboy, he saves the world, he’s cool, why can’t he be number two? Maybe Craig knows a lot about politics?

Some people on the list surprise me a lot. Like Pippa Middleton (you know, Princess Kate’s sister). As far as I know people were only fascinated with her butt during the royal wedding—what has she done for us lately? She did only get 3,139 votes but she’s higher on the list than NFL Commission Roger Goodell (1,884) so show that butt Pippa!

Before I sign off here, LMFAO garnered a spot on the list with 10,429 votes—that’s more than Queen Elizabeth II (7,546 votes).

If you don’t know who LMFAO is, it’s not a who but a what. It’s an acronym for “laughing my fat ass off” and is used in many social media venues like Twitter or Facebook. It’s very popular when texting. This puzzles me because isn’t this the top 100 most influential “people” list? Shouldn’t the originator of LMFAO be on the list instead of the acronym?

Oops! Made a boo-boo here. Apparently LMFAO is really a former day trader named RedFoo and his nephew SkyBlue who now call themselves LMFAO. I guess this former day trader and his nephew now sing. Again, LMFAO belongs on a "group" list!

All in all my favorite on the list has to be Anonymous and don’t hold your breath on me creating the top ten reasons why I like Anonymous!

Who is your favorite? See the list here.


Image Credits:


Luc Alquier/Wikimedia Commons/GNU Free Documentation License
Hilary_JW/Wikimedia Commons/CC 2.0 License
Georges Biard/Wikimedia Commons/OTRS License/Archive

Coca-Cola Splits Stock: This Reminds Me of an Old Barbara Stanwyck Movie!

When browsing Google News today, I came across a story posted on the Associated Press by Candice Choi—“Coca-Cola Recommends First Stock Split Since 1996.” This intrigued me, but it also reminded me of that old Van Heflin-Barbara Stanwyck movie, B.F.’s Daughter, a Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer film released in 1948.

Okay, so I wasn’t born until 1959, but I love old movies and this was indeed one of my favorites. My father also loved old movies so when I was in my teens, we watched every John Wayne movie on television and he too loved Stanwyck and Alice Faye.

While I didn’t think much of these movies watching them with my Dad, I do appreciate them now and am thankful every day for Turner Classic Movies (TMC)—all old movies, all the time with no commercials!

First off, according to the AP story, Coca-Cola wants to offer the split to help double revenues in the next ten years. This is a biggie for Coca-Cola since it’s only done this ten times since it went public in 1919. 

According to the AP story, “Companies split stocks when they think their share price has gotten too expensive or if the stock is trading too far above similar companies’ stock.”

So, if the shareholders agree, instead of 5.6 billion shares to buy, there would be 11.2 billion shares. Currently, the price of one Coca-Cola share is around $75 buckaroos.  I guess the more shares to buy, the better right?

If I owned a bunch of shares in Coca-Cola, would I get first pick on buying more? And, I’d want a discounted price—no $75 for me. I’ll cut that in half like the split and pay $35. The stock market confuses me—there I said it. Another part of the story stated, “…single shares purchased in 1919 for $40 would be worth more than 9,000 shares and $341,545 today.”

Okay, help me out here smart people (yes Linda this means you—oops inside joke). How do “single shares” go to “9,000 shares”? If I buy one apple today and never ever again buy another apple, won’t my total owned apples be one?

Ugh!

B.F.’s Daughter

The reason I enjoy the Coca-Cola story so much is because it reminded me I have B.F.’s Daughter recorded on my DVR so I put in on, watched a few minutes of it and then kept it on so I could hear it in the background while I worked.

“Oh Bob,” screamed Polly, “Daddy’s going to declare a dividend!”

Bob is Bob Tasmin, the fiancé of Polly Fulton (B.F.’s Daughter played by Stanwyck) and while she really shouldn’t have told fiancé Bob about the dividend, she did anyway. Why? What rich gal married to a climbing-the-ladder fiancé wouldn’t want to offer him insider secrets he could pass on to his bosses to help him climb the ladder a little faster?

Well, B.F. (played by Charles Coburn) didn’t offer a dividend but of course not to upset daughter Polly, he said he could if it would help Bob! But of course Bob isn’t that kind of guy—he’s climbing the corporate ladder the old-fashioned way—by earning it.

All goes along well for Polly until she and her friend Apples—isn’t that an awesome name—Apples, go to a what we would now call a bar and grill and Polly meets Thomas Brett (Van Heflin). He’s an economics educator and lecturer and she and he; well, let’s just say fiancé Bob gets booted out of the picture real fast.

But Tom Brett isn’t rich and Polly is and Tom hates B.F. because he’s rich and Tom is poor and Tom’s friend Martin Ainsley who hosts an “I-never-get-the-story-right” radio show hates B.F. even more and talks about him all the time. Whew, get it?

But Polly marries Tom anyway. They do end up living happily ever after but there are some hiccups along the way like Tom’s dislike for Polly’s must-have-everything-I-can-afford lifestyle.

So, from just reading Coca-Cola’s stock split story, it reminded me of “Oh Bob, Daddy’s going to declare a dividend!”

Yeah, I know these two things are not the same. I get it. But man, what a great movie and by the by, can someone help me out here on the stock stuff?

P.S. Please don’t send me angry comments about how stupid I am when it comes to the stock market. I know this is a Business  Facts and Fiction blog, but where on the top of my blog do you see the words “stock market?” Read them again, they say “business, politics and government.” So no picking on me!

Image Credits:
B.F.'s  Daughter Move - Amazon
Coca-Cola Logo - Brands of the World/Wikimedia Commons/Public Domain
AP Story

John Edwards Trial: Political or Wife Cover-Up?

I’m no fan of former U.S. Senator John Edwards (Democrat North Carolina) but I must say Google News is full of news about his trial. Edwards could get up to 30 years in prison for allegedly using campaign funds to hide his mistress Rielle Hunter from the American people. He would not go to prison if his defense lawyers can prove the money was used to hide the affair from his wife.

Okay, big slime ball here right? He should hit a 5 x 5 cell no matter how it turns out!

Apparently, Edwards maintains these funds were used to hide the affair from his now deceased wife Elizabeth and not for his political campaign.

I listened to some of the voice mails from one of Edward’s aides, Andrew Young and the defense might have a good argument here. In the voice mails you hear Edwards leaving messages for Young and all of the ones I heard state very clearly how Young would be able to tell when he called if wife Elizabeth was “in the room” or that “Elizabeth will be here in about 15 minutes so the sooner you call the better.”

Back in 2007 or 2008 (who cares) when  he and Hunter started the affair she became pregnant (wow, a grown woman with no birth control) and Andrew Young and his wife were assigned to hide her, put her in hotel rooms, on jets, fancy vacations—just any old place where she or that growing belly wouldn’t be seen.

I do, however, believe Andrew Young and that he was given over a million dollars to hide Rielle. Edwards is apparently challenging Young’s statements. Edwards insists none of the money was used to hide Hunter from the American voters but from his wife Liz. Double slime ball here.

That’s one fine line isn’t it? He could go to jail if the jury says yea, the money was used to hide Hunter from the voting public or nay, the money was used to keep the affair secret from his wife.

I remember when he first ran way back in 2004 and then again in 2008 (actually in 2004 he did become John Kerry’s running mate for VP). One of my mother’s friends thought Edwards was dreamy and “looked like Robert Redford!” I never saw the similarities but that’s just me.

Still, there are other folks to take the stand and as far as those checks written from billionaire Rachel “Bunny” Mellon, many of them had weird things in the memo section like: “antique furniture.”

If this is true, wouldn’t Elizabeth wonder why she wasn’t getting any “antique furniture” or was she stupid enough to think these were gifts he was hiding for her in a warehouse and once he won the top job as President, he’d bring out all that “antique furniture,” invite Bunny to the inauguration and the three of them would laugh and laugh and laugh. I don’t think so and I do think Elizabeth Edwards was smarter than that. And, I don’t think Liz would have put up with putting Hunter in a wing of the White House—nope she’d put her foot down there.

I love the reports on ABC, NBC and CBS showing a somber John Edwards compared to the stylish boy-face we all first saw in 2004. He seems to drag his adult kids to court (I guess that makes him look good) and reports say the prosecution claims Hunter was a “loose cannon” and Edwards knew it.

I guess a “loose cannon” means she could pick up the phone any old time and let Elizabeth know about her growing belly and the affair.  I guess it would take millions to keep my mouth shut if I were her! Probably all his millions because the guy isn’t broke, but I’d love to try and make him broke. But again, I know how to use birth control!

I’m not sure how all this will turn out but it does give us something else to follow other than Romney and Obama battle it out. In fact, of late, it’s been placing the election on the back burner.

All of these hooligans from Edwards do make me wonder, what in the hell was he thinking? Did he really think he’d get away with it? Was he waiting for his wife to succumb to the cancer she had and then pop Hunter out in the open and say, “Hey I just met this woman and I’m happy to adopt her new baby!”

Stupid I think. Very stupid.

Image Credits:

Wikimedia Commons/Office of Senator John Edwards/Public Domain

Mark Seliger/GQ

Why McDonald’s is Really Making a Profit

Yes friends, once again this morning I came across a story on Google News about McDonald’s and how their profits have risen 4.8% in the first quarter of 2012 according to a report by Leslie Patton posted on Bloomberg.

I guess this fast-food conglomerate is thanking new menu items like white chicken breast McBites and their many McCafe offerings (these drinks are good if you can ignore the bazillion calories). I’m not so sure that’s the reason for the increase in revenues, however.

Work, Work and More Work  

I’m sure statisticians behind the 4.8% increase could offer real data on exactly how many McBites and McCafes were sold in the first quarter of 2012 and let’s face it, McCafe drinks are cheaper than Starbucks, but in today’s economy, too many of us are working more than one job, are too tired to cook and yep, there’s a McDonald’s on almost every corner. What sort of parents would we be if we didn’t feed the family?

Sure I know there are great meals you can whip up in a jiffy but unless you have the items in the pantry and refrigerator, that’s a trip to the store, standing in line, lugging the groceries to your car and inside your house, cooking and cleaning up. Whew—McDonald’s wins here.

And, I should point out those Campbell soup commercials with simple recipes like pouring soup over rice or leftover mash potatoes sounds like “Depression Era” food. Well, we are leaning toward that I guess as far as the economy goes—only the rich are getting richer, not the poor or the middle class who are indeed, working, working and working just to keep their homes and food on the table—even if that food is McDonald’s.

New Choices Do Help, But It’s Because We’re Bored

There are only so many Big Macs one can eat so I’m sure if McDonald’s is on the way home after a tiring day, why not try some new McBites?

Family doctors preach to us and tell us to avoid fast-food. They want us to eat veggies and meat free of all the additives and fat and cut down on things like fried foods, sugar and well, anything processed with too much of whatever attacks our hearts.

We don’t listen though—we’re too tired.

Cookbooks are online, on iTunes and grocery store checkout lines are full of them—all promising quick and healthy meals and healthy meals on a budget, but if we’re working so many hours, who has time to read these cookbooks, get the ingredients and start being smarter about cooking?

We’re urged to exercise and I was saddened to learn once I reached 50 years of age, my half hour workout is no longer enough—women over 50 need at least an hour a day! Does typing count?

Eating Right

I live next door to a family of four (two teenagers) and they are busy folks. The son has this practice or that practice, the daughter has dance practice and is always trying out for this or that. Mom works all day and then runs to the school—sometimes more than once a day to pick up the kids, take them back and even offer rides home to friends.

Dad works from 7:00 am to 7:30 p.m. so he’s tired when he comes home and often the chore of bringing home dinner falls to him with all the running around his wife is doing. The easiest choice for this busy family? Fast food!

Because my kids are grown and gone (unless you count my six dogs who love McDonald’s but don’t get it), I think my husband and I eat well.

A piece of grilled chicken and some veggies and we’re full. We never eat dessert and we usually fall asleep watching our favorite primetime television shows. Most of the time, we skip lunch and for breakfast we grab a fiber bar or yogurt. For us, skipping fast food is a conscious decision and a body decision.

No we aren’t worried about the calories—it seems the older our intestinal systems get, the less we can tolerate all that fat! Not worth the bathroom trips.

And, our neighbors who we adore told me they spend up to $800 a month on fast food!

Revenues Up for Wrong Reason

So, all in all, I think McDonald’s revenues are up for the wrong reason. People are tired, don’t have time to cook or are too tired to cook. Passing through the drive-through window is easier—it’s really that simple.

I do have a protest to make on the Bloomberg story.

In the piece, Peter Saleh, an analyst from Telsey Advisory Group located in New York City says of the chain “McDonald’s is taking market share just because their restaurants are more up-to-date, more modern and cleaner than competitors.” Really dude? You need to visit more than the one in Manhattan.

There’s a truck stop on the Pennsylvania Turnpike—very near Route 22 and yes, there’s been a McDonald’s there for years. If you go in there and actually buy something to eat—you have more guts than I do. The place is so dirty it’s unbelievable! And, the one that’s closest to my home (yes I did go in and buy a McCafe) is pretty dirty as well. I really don’t think Mr. Saleh eats at McDonald’s or he’d know these things!

So, will you skip the fast food tonight?

Bloomberg Story

Image Credits:

Rici/Wikimedia Commons/Public Domain

McDonalds/Wikimedia Common/Public Domain

The Secret Service Wants Ted Nugent!

There are a few articles floating around the Web (check out Google News) on Ted Nugent’s trouble with the Secret Service based on comments he made about President Obama.

While speaking at a National Rifle Association Convention, Ted said, “If Barack Obama becomes president in November again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year.” Hmm? Is that a threat?

Did the Secret Service look at this as “yes I’ll be shot and jailed or killed because I’m coming after the dude?”  I’m pretty sure words like these aren’t the best choice to come out of your mouth Ted. Nugent is also known as the Motor City Mad Man (do mad insane people’s comments count?)

Well President Obama called singer Kanye West a “jackass” according to The Atlantic. Actually, Obama was defending singer Taylor Swift and his actual words on West were: “He is a jackass. But he’s talented.” Apparently at some awards show, West got  up on stage while Swift was receiving and award and made a fuss.

I realize these two comments from two very different men are extremely different in nature but don’t we live in the land of free speech?

Jeez, look at all the bad press President (G.W.) Bush got and what about President Ford and his stumbles and falls? What about that old Ted Kennedy joke: He can run (for President) even if he can’t drive? I mean people are outraged at Mitt Romney for strapping his caged dog to the roof of the car but what words are okay and which are taboo?

It’s Up to the Government

I guess to answer the question of non-allowed words you have to turn to the government and the Secret Service.

I wonder if I called them and asked:

“Hello, Agent One-Zero-One speaking.”

“Hi!” I’d say. “What are we not allowed to say about the President of the United States?” I’d ask.

“You may not threaten his life or his family’s life in any way,” replies Agent One-Zero-One.

“So, if I say I don’t like his hair cut that’s okay?” I ask.

“Yes Ma’am,” informs Agent One-Zero-One.

“If I call him the Auto Czar is that okay?” I ask.

“Yes Ma’am,” repeats Agent One-Zero-One.

“Thanks for your help!” I say.

“No problem Ma’am,” and Agent One-Zero-One hangs up.

Bad News for Ted

I guess if the above conversation actually occurred, it means bad news for Ted Nugent, because although I don’t planning on voting for President Obama, I do think the words Ted said count as a “threat” in a way.

Well, the Secret Service will indeed be interviewing Ted Nugent so we’ll have to wait and see, but I imagine he’ll just get a talking to on what’s allowed and what’s disallowed. Maybe he’ll be forced to apologize or go to a government jail for bad singers.

As for me, gotta run…someone’s at the door. I hope it’s not a Secret Service Agent! Oh wait, it is, but it’s okay, I’ve got some juice on him too—he’s with a prostitute. No worries!

Google News on Ted Nugent

Atlantic Obama Quote

Image Credit: Lenny Francioni/Wikimedia Commons/Public Domain

Equal Pay Day is Indeed a Red Letter Day (I Guess), Red Sales Are Better!

As a woman, you’d think I’d be the first person to stand up for Equal Pay Day, dash to my closet and find something red to wear—red being the color of choice for Equal Pay Day.

Bob McClay of KTAR.com wrote a short—the word short being key here on this great day for women in America—well maybe Arizona. In his piece “Red Clothes Urged to Support Women’s Equal Pay Day,” McClay says of the day, “participants are being encouraged to wear red in support of equal pay for women.” Okay, I’m for that but the color red messes with my Rosacea so how about off-red—what about burgundy? Heck if you know me I’m going to wear Old Navy white!

Bob also points out “Women’s rights advocates said that the average women who started working on January 1, 2011 will today have finally equalled (sic) the pay that an average man who started the same day earned as of December 31, 2011.” Okay Bob, first off, you need to learn how to spell.

And, Bob, who are these “women’s rights advocates” of whom you speak?  He did name one, Phoenix Women’s Commission Chair Kyrsten Sinema who is also running for Congress. I guess for a radio reporter, one expert woman is enough. And Kyrsten, if you want equal pay, why the twist on spelling? What’s the matter with Kirsten? Jeez!

I believe the report about lower wages for the fairer sex—that’s been true for quite some time—actually forever, but Bob can’t seem to get his numbers right.

In the story (link below) he mentioned that in Arizona “women make only 83 cents for every dollar that a man makes.” For African-American women it’s 67 cents and for Latinas it’s 53 cents.  He also offers “Arizona is better than the national average: women make 77 cents for every dollar man does.” What?

Come on Bob do Arizona women make an average of 83 cents or 77 cents? That’s a big difference!

Beyond being a better speller Bob, you need to learn math or proofreading, I’m not quite sure which.

All in all, I guess if I had red, I’d wear it but it’s not my color and well, because I make less than my male counterparts, Old Navy white is cheaper—clothes I can afford on my low, low salary.

Red Letter Day

Along with it being Equal Pay Day, today is also the last day to file your 2011 annual tax return or file an extension. I opted for the extension via Turbo Tax. Thanks for being free Turbo Tax! I can sit back, relax, have a drink or two and as long as I get my tax return in by October 15, 2012 I’ll be just fine. Heck, now I'll have time to work on my new social network idea MEMS!

Apparently Mitt Romney also filed a 2011 tax extension and this is angering many. Why? I have no idea? I file an extension every year. It’s not because I always owe, but for other reasons. In 2011, I moved and had personal issues to deal with so the last thing on my mind was my 2011 tax return. In my defense (and Mitts) I’m still waiting for my CPA to finish up looking at my financial papers and there’ a 1099 I haven’t received, even though I’ve requested it three times! Maybe Mitt is facing the same? In his case it’s probably partnership return K-1s he’s waiting for so what’s the big deal? Get over it people! Americans file extensions all the time. This is just another Obama campaign “get it out there story leak!”

Red Sales

Finally, I got an email from Pier 1 Imports today on their Spring Red Sale! Oh boybe! So I’d have more to say here, but off I run to Pier 1 to spend either 83 cents or 77 cents—I’m not sure which!

Cheers!

Image Credits: 

bigjom/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

renjith krishnan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

McClay, Bob, KTAR.com “Red Clothes Urged to Support Women’s Equal Pay Day” April 17, 2012, retrieved April 17, 2012. 

What’s Next in Social Media? Something Smaller Than a Pin?

I recently joined Pinterest but I need to work on my board. I like the idea of viewing friend’s boards and read snippets or look at photos of their favorite things to do and follow. It’s a great way to share everything from your pets to your talents—even professional talents.  For those of you who are my friends and family, I know you’ll be following me on Pinterest soon and I promise to follow you back.

I also use Twitter to tweet about blogs I’ve posted or articles I’ve written or to cheer on the Pittsburgh Steelers. If you’re part of the Steeler Nation, you know Steeler players are more than happy to share tweets with you.

I woke up this morning thinking about how I need to make my Pinterest board more exciting and I started to wonder what’s next in social media.

We already spread the word in 140 characters or less on Twitter and some of us are quite creative. With the bulletin board “Pin”terest we also share snippets of our lives and loves.

So what’s smaller than a pin or shorter than 140 characters or less?

MEMS!

Surprisingly, Duke University has been working on MEMS for quite some time. Bruce Donald a Duke professor in their computer science and biochemistry department explained MEMS or microelectromechanical systems are tiny robots and are “100 times smaller than any previous microns, or millionths of a meter and weigh even less!”

I guess microelectromechanical systems seemed a misnomer to Duke because they dropped the MEMS acronym and now these robots are simply called Microrobots.

If Duke has lost its love for the acronym MEMS, I wonder if they’d pass it on to me?

Join the Mutual and Everlasting Message System!

I guess no one can patent an acronym. I mean take the acronym CAT for example. The Convention Against Torture uses CAT and so does the Centre for Alternative Technology. You can also get a CAT scan if your health insurance covers it; otherwise it’s an out of pocket experience—not on my list of to-do things.

So, I wondered about creating the Mutual and Everlasting Message System! Also known as MEMS.

Creating a social media platform, however, is no easy task I found. I’d need programmers and web designers and idea people. I’d need to brain storm and mind map and come up with an attractive MEMS social media offering people would want to use.

I’m looking for ideas here people! On the other hand, don’t steal my idea because a patent is pending!

What Should MEMS Do?

I do have an idea of what I want MEMS to accomplish. I’d like MEMS to represent a professional venue in the social media arena. Not that I don’t want to see pictures of your new grandkid or dogs—I do! But even LinkedIn is getting a little off the professional sharing beaten path.

MEMS would have categories of professional sharing: Business, Project Management, Human Resources, the Auto Industry, Government, Politics, etc.

Joiners could sign up for more than one MEMS category depending on their professional wants and needs but I don’t want anyone popping into one category and posting a snippet about a new baby or a wedding—these posts would be immediately removed by the MEMS “do-not-post-automatic-delete” system (DNPADS). I’d really need a programmer for that!

Of course one of my MEMS categories would have to be humor, although I’d want humor to be professional in each and every post. No dissing or bad language. Think Bill Cosby clean humor here.

I’d also have a Complaint Category where members could post any complaints they have about the MEMS system, receive an autoresponder and well, my team would either consider the complaint or toss it. Most likely we’d guide the complainer to the MEMS FAQ section.

I don’t want forums because as I age, I find I don’t like “threads.” These are just too old fashioned and confusing to be on the Web these days. So, if you think forums are good ideas and want to belong to MEMS, read the FAQ first—there will be a FAQ called “Why Are There No Forums?”

Looking for Programmers, Designers and Some Brainiacs!

Okay, now down to the nitty gritty of MEMS. I can’t do this alone! I’m no Mark Zuckerberg! Consider this an open call for programmers, designers and brainiacs. Of course if you want to help me startup MEMS, I’ll also need some financial backing. Let’s be fair here! I also don’t have Zuckerberg’s net worth!

So, are you ready to join me in the next generation of social media—MEMS!

Duke University (PHYS.ORG) Microbots Dance on Something Smaller Than a Pin’s Head, retrieved April 15, 2012.

Image Credits:

Pisitphoto/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

ddpavumba/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Employees and Employers Make Mistakes; But Employers Do it More!

Oh my friend Google News has many hot topics today but nothing as exciting as the one where one of Obama’s secret service team members allegedly sought out a prostitute in Columbia. A CBS news story, “Secret Service Supervisor in Prostitute Scandal” jumped right off the page as soon as I clicked on the Google News tab!

According to the report, President Obama is in Cartagena Columbia and “is visiting for the Summit of the Americas.”

Seems everywhere the Prez goes, the Counter Terror Assault (CAT) team goes. You know these folks, they are sent out prior to a Presidential visit to ensure all is well, safe and no idiot will try to shoot at our President. It’s a long and enduring process from what I hear and once a plan is set, there are generally no deviations from that plan. Well, except for this tiny deviation.

One member of the CAT team apparently solicited a prostitute while there and I’m not sure that’s on the scheduled list of things to do!

This is my favorite part of the CBS news story:

“A source in the Secret Services tells CBS News that one or more of the officers were involved with prostitutes and that there was a dispute over payment. One prostitute when to the police, who notified the State Department.”

Big job mistake here!

Are You Guilty?

Everyone makes mistakes, at work and at play. But if you make mistake after mistake, how well will you be perceived at the office or by your co-workers? I wonder if these CAT guys think their behavior was “cool” or that they will be “looked up to” by fellow agents. I hope not.

There are little errors we make at work and then there are the biggies. The ones that could result in you losing a job or ones so bad, they place the company at risk for lawsuits. I think employers are guiltier than employees here and I’ll tell you why.

I won’t name the organization here or even what they do, but there is one company in the city where I live where managers and supervisors—even the owner—will be in serious trouble from their mistakes if they don’t change ASAP!

What are their mistakes? They create a hostile working environment on a daily basis and everyone is included. They don’t play favorites. I wondered how they get away with this and then read an article by an attorney who basically said, if a hostile work environment is across the board, meaning all are treat the same way, that’s not considered a hostile work environment. Really? I still think this company is heading for big problems.

Another company in the city where I live is apparently still in the Stone Age as they instruct employees each day to mark their bathroom breaks on a calendar and yep—you guessed it, if they don’t take the break or if they need to go (literally) and do and it’s not break time, they’re written up for leaving their post. Is this for real? I’m a mother and if you’re a woman and have given birth, your bladder tells you when to go, not some schedule. Boo to these idiots.

Last on my mistake list of employers are those male-oriented firms that still think it is okay to call women “sweetie” or “honey.” First off, if I worked at one of these places, I’d tell these guys right off, “I’m not your sweetie and I’m not your honey!” Still many women endure this practice, especially in these days of high unemployment. Who can afford to lose a job?

Employers Are Taking Advantage

In my opinion, many business owners and employers are taking advantage of their employees. They can and do so because of the high unemployment rate. People are afraid of losing their jobs so they put up with the bad stuff, the ass-ripping, unfair pay and the excessive hours they’re asked to work.

Employers are confident they are holding the puppet strings for every employee and if one steps out of line—out the door they go—and they’re getting away with it.

I often wonder why more people don’t complain? Why don’t workers report businesses that break labor laws to the EEOC or state Department of Labor offices? Why do they just endure the abuse day after day?

I guess some readers here might say, “Hey you aren’t in the situation so you know nothing of which you speak!” (or write).

Perhaps, but a word of advice to unfair labor practices—this is a big mistake and if you’re guilty, expect the roof to come tumbling down. I’ll tell you how it will start too. After you fire employees one after the other for absolutely no reason and then go to replace them, you’ll start to notice a pattern. NO ONE WANTS TO WORK FOR YOU.

Why? Your attitude and work environment are on the street and prospective job seekers know you don’t treat employees fairly.

If the resumes you receive are dwindling, it’s time to revisit your policies—and fast!

CBS News Story

Image Credits:

Photostock/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Want to Be an Entrepreneur? Five Reasons Why You Will Fail

I hate to be so pessimistic in this post but most new entrepreneurs will fail. Maybe Friday the 13th is getting to me!

It’s not because you don’t have great ideas for a product or service. It’s not because you don’t have the drive or the dedication. And, it has nothing to do with your personality—chances are if you want to be a small business owner, you already have a strong and vibrant personality.

Aren’t drive and dedication, a good product or service and a great personality the building blocks of any business? Sure, they are all great elements to bring to your business but these are not the elements that will make you fail.

Let’s take a look at the five reasons you’ll fail and why:

Working Capital – You must have cash to invest into your business. Even further, you must have excess cash in the event you have slow revenues but still have expenses. Without working capital and solid financials, you won’t be able to get bank or government loans, nor will you be able to find investors or partners. Ideas are great but they don’t come with a money tree. You need to develop an opening balance sheet and then look at your assets, liabilities, and equity before you even attempt to fully begin your business.

Inventory Control – I have always said inventory can make or break a business. If you have too much on hand, that’s a large asset that is not making you money. Perform an ABC Analysis on your current inventory. Get rid of obsolescent inventory—even if you only get cents on the dollar. Learn how poor inventory control will eat up your working capital—fast.

Skipping the Advertising – The old saying, you must spend money to make money is true. If no one knows you even exist, you will be holding a going out of business sale in your first year. Learn to use some free advertising such as creating a blog and posting to it regularly. Google is taking over the world so consider using their Blogger feature. Put your face on YouTube! Both are easy to use. Once you can, set an advertising budget for online, print, TV and radio and stick to it.

The Ice Cream Fund – When cash starts rolling in it’s tempting to use business revenues to pay personal expenses or buy that dream toy you want like a boat, automobile or well, how to say this without insulting anyone—a mistress, or a mister for that matter! Not only is it illegal to use business cash for personal expenses—you’ll dry up the cash well quickly meaning you’ll have no money to pay expenses.

Schmooze Your Banker – When you choose the banking institution you want, make sure you meet the president of the bank. Invite them to lunch and get their email and personal cell phone number.  Keep them up-to-date on your business happenings. Invite them to company events and fundraisers you sponsor. Why is your bank president so important? If you find yourself having a rainy day and payroll is tomorrow, bank presidents do have the authority to help you cover payroll as long as you have a solid plan on reimbursement—usually within two-three days. Without this relationship, your employees are walking home without a paycheck.

Becoming an entrepreneur is the American Dream and many are successful. Those who are not, are usually guilty of one or a combination of the above. Learn more about what young entrepreneurs need to know before you begin a business venture.

Need some start-up business advice? Drop me a comment, I’m here to help!

Image Credit: Stuart Miles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

60 Minutes Falls Short on Mike Wallace Death – A Lesson for Business Owners

I was sad to hear Mike Wallace, a renowned reporter and CBS 60 Minutes correspondent for many years (1968-2008) died today on Easter Sunday.

When I first heard the news I was watching CNN which offered a great look back at his career with a few comments from his peers. As I headed off to Easter brunch I knew 60 Minutes would have a report on Mike during their evening broadcast. He was 60 minutes, after all.

I waited eagerly, watching the end of the Masters (congrats to Bubba Watson on his win) but when the show began all we got was a little blurb from Morely Safer with a promise of a more in depth retrospective next Sunday. Really Morely?

The way I figure, CBS had more than enough time to put together something on the life and times of Mike Wallace. When the infamous die, networks pay attention and if you consider how much network time was dedicated to Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston, I’m sort of disappointed in CBS—especially the folks behind 60 Minutes.

What can a business owner learn from this? If you know you need to get something done and it’s essential—don’t sit on it. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Don’t slide those papers back in your in box! If you do, that one important must-do-ASAP item could end up placing your company in a black hole while you try to recover from the failure to act.

Don’t Put Off Today….

Actually, the old saying, “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today” came from the mouth of Thomas Jefferson and if you consider what he accomplished during his life (President/Author of the Declaration of Independence) it’s hard to argue with this famous quote—especially if you’re a small business owner! You need to complete the most important on a daily basis.

Unfortunately, many business owners do wait until tomorrow to finalize that account, schmooze a banker or client or sign up for an important networking event only to find come tomorrow, there’s no more space left!

We are busy people. We are tired people. We work practically 24/7 building, running and managing our business and it’s very easy to skip something important and then find out tomorrow was too late. Someone else landed the client or got the last space at that networking event.

Social Media Is Good But….

Okay, some will argue here that they did update their website on a key element, tweeted about it and posted it to Facebook. Heck they even spread the word tomorrow would be the big day by Google+ing that very important to do item with a promise of excitement!

You can’t, however, base your business management on promises.

To do lists are one thing but if something really big happens, you need to act within the same day. Tomorrow is too late for the big stuff.

As an example, let’s say you have a bid for a huge contract to turn in. Today is Thursday but you’re okay with that—the bid’s not due until Friday so you’ll work on it then and rush it to the bid initiator by 5:00 p.m. Friday.

What if you need more time because you waited until the last minute? What if you find while working on the bid “tomorrow” you need more information or data and can’t obtain it? What if you find, the bid office closed at noon? The “what-ifs” can go on and on and on.

Learn From This!

You can take this advice one of two ways. You might tell yourself tomorrow really isn’t all that far away and skip this advice. Or, you can act on what you need to act upon ASAP.

Those that do act will succeed and those who don’t simply won’t.

I think the same thing happened with folks behind 60 Minutes. Sure I know the show always falls in the top 10 ratings each week so maybe they weren’t worried about ratings. However, their “customers” the viewers, did indeed expect some story other than an under-one-minute announcement from Morely Safer!

The world will miss Mike Wallace and it would have been nice for CBS to give us something other than the posts they have on their website.

So, after you’re done reading this, what projects are you putting off that could harm your business?

Image Credit: Terry Ballard, Wikimedia Commons, Creative Commons 2.0 License

DOL Reveals March 2012 Unemployment Statistics (Well, Sort Of)

This morning I awoke to CNN reports and Google News leads from Reuters, MarketWatch and other sources. Each of these news sources revealed there were 120,000 jobs created in March of 2012 while the unemployment rate stood at 8.2 percent.

Economic experts hoped for more job creations—as much as 210,000 jobs but folks—that just didn’t happen.  

I tend to read these stories from so-called reliable sources and reporters with a grain of salt. If you really want the real numbers, go to the source itself—The Department of Labor (DOL).

Of course you will need to grab your calculator or maybe use the mathematical tools in MS Excel or those included on your new iPad3 or smartphone. Then again there are those that can add and subtract large numbers in their head—to these folks I say: congratulations! My fingers run out at 10—but if I use my toes I can get to 20!

I absolutely love what the DOL calls the “marginally employed.” Here’s a part of the DOL statistical report from March discussing how the marginally employed were counted in the March survey:

“In March, 2.4 million persons were marginally attached to the labor force, essentially unchanged from a year earlier. (The data are not seasonally adjusted.) These individuals were not in the labor force, wanted and were available for work, and had looked for a job sometime in the prior 12 months. They were not counted as unemployed because they had not searched for work in the 4 weeks preceding the survey.”

So of the 12.7 million unemployed, 2.4 million don’t count? In additional of those industries surveyed, only 70.2 percent participated. Sure, 70 percent is pretty good but why don’t so-called “reliable” news sources include these statistics instead of just announcing job creations and the current unemployment rate?

Also among the “marginally employed” the DOL reported:

“Among the marginally attached, there were 865,000 discouraged workers in March, about the same as a year earlier. (The data are not seasonally adjusted.) Discouraged workers are persons not currently looking for work because they believe no jobs are available for them. The remaining 1.5 million persons marginally attached to the labor force in March had not searched for work in the 4 weeks preceding the survey for reasons such as school attendance or family responsibilities.”

Again, from the 12.7 million counted as unemployed, we need to subtract the 2.4 million from above, 865,000 discouraged workers that also fall on the “marginally employed” list and 1.5 million folks the DOL says are “marginally attached to the labor force.”

To me, deciphering the DOL reports and tables based on the above means of the 12.7 million unemployed workers, approximately 4.7 are counted as “marginally employed.” Really? So if I am unemployed but haven’t looked for work in the four weeks prior to the survey, I’m counted as being “employed?” Okay, where’s my pay check? Oh and by the by who is my employer?

I’m not mathematician but I sure would like some who are to take a look at the DOL tables and drop me a comment. A sort of Understanding DOL Tables for Dummies if you will.

I realize the 120,000 jobs created are real jobs and the DOL says these are all non-farm, private sector jobs, but those in the retail industry lost out—these jobs are down. Manufacturing was up—most likely thanks to the surge in the auto industry (this includes part suppliers as well). The healthcare industry also gained jobs along with food services, but by far, my favorite is the “drinking places” that employed more in March.

Let’s consider this a minute. If I were still “attached” to the workplace and considered “marginally employed” even if I didn’t have a job I’d be drinking too! The more marginally unemployed, the higher the need for bars and bartenders! This is a no-brainer really.

I guess the pressure’s on the DOL to report these statistics monthly—I mean it is an election year and the current administration is probably yelling for more stats, more tables, more complex yet really neat stuff Americans can read but not understand! More, more, more!

Again, can someone explain these statistics to this not-so-great-at-number-crunching blogger?

I have a secret fear that reporters these days are paid to only give the American people the bare basics. It would be nice if some of them didn’t just copy each other’s statistics and really delve into the DOL tables and confusing data.

I’m tired of, “according to Reuters” or “according to CNN.” I want a reporter to skip other news sources and write a report totally based on the DOL tables. A great report would be “According to the DOL” and that would be awesome!

Is that too much to ask?

So, leave me your thoughts or set me straight if you’re a math expert. If I don’t get back to you immediately, I’m most likely at my favorite drinking establishment talking with others who are marginally employed and wondering how the heck we are going to pay for the next round. Do bars take food stamps? Hmm?

Image Credit: jscreations / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Hiring an Employee with a Bad Reputation? Is This a Good or Bad Idea?

This morning’s Google News was exciting and prompted me to wonder if hiring an employee that comes with a bad reputation or recommendation is a good idea. The Google News post that inspired me was from Los Angeles Times reporters Shelby Grand and Andrew Blankstein: “Charles Manson, now 77, gets new chance at parole” (link below).

I guess the parole hearing will happen sometime later this month but ten years ago, Manson refused to participate in his last parole hearing stating he was a “prisoner of the political system.” Really dude?

Still, fair is fair and the law is the law and he will again get a chance to receive parole, although the chances of him actually getting it I think are slim to none. Especially when you look at the new photo CNN asked the California Department of Corrections and Corcoran State Prison to release (seen here).

You just can’t get your eyes off that imbedded swastika on his forehead and it reminds me when my one sister was going through those teenage “difficult” years and self-inked “Boo” on her hand. She regrets it now that she’s in her 50s but I would bet huge Mega Millions winnings Charles Manson could care less what’s on his forehead.  But again I digress!

The entire Charles Manson parole story made me start to wonder about employers thinking about hiring a candidate that comes with a bad reputation and even worse—bad recommendations from former employers.

Should You Take the Chance?

I think the answer here on whether you should hire these misfit types is: It depends. For example, back in my entrepreneur days, I hired on a parolee who did time for selling crack cocaine. While inside, he, as many do, became very religious and swore he was on the straight and narrow.

Because I like to believe in second chances, I hired him and he stayed with my company for over 12 years and never had a hiccup. I watched him go from that scared-just-released-look to a proud employee who managed a team of porters at my car dealership—heck at the end, the guy even had business cards. He’d still be with me today if I wasn’t one of Chrysler’s “useless assets” and still had a Chrysler dealership franchise point—but’s that’s another story.

I took a chance on this bad-rap guy but for most candidates, their reputation on the street may kill their chances.

The Good, Bad & the Ugly

Let’s say you’re looking for a manager—in any department—and along comes a guy who has the reputation of being a face-eater. He has been known to scream at employees, would fire on a whim, seems erratic and has no real explanation for his behaviors when questioned. Yet, his education and career efforts had landed him at some top businesses in leadership positions.

Would you hire this person?

Or, say the potential candidate has a bad recommendation from a former employer for workplace bullying and admits it but says she’s changed. Still the word on the street is she’s fired more employees than Donald Trump! There’s even rumors floating around she was barely able to avoid lawsuits from former employees who she intimidated with her power.

Would you hire this person?

There’s another type of candidate and these bad apples come through industry “grapevines.” What I mean here is industries that have high turnover rates and folks jump from job to job. These industries are usually retail or involve some sort of selling and customer service. If a candidate you were interviewing came with a resume filled with five or ten different companies in a short period, meaning he jumped around a lot, you’d probably want to know why. If questioned, the candidate may say things like, “My supervisor didn’t like me” or “I had the highest sales quotas than anyone else but they didn’t appreciate my efforts.” Translation: “I’m a troublemaker!”

Would you hire this person?

Making a Decision

The decision you make when hiring an employee that comes with a bad recommendation or reputation remains a hard one. For me, I’d rather take on the parolee than a face-eater.  You can “mold” these folks where with face-eaters, you get what you get and if you do make the decision to hire, be prepared to handle some problems.

I also recommend assessment testing if you can afford it. You can even obtain personality assessment tests where professionals analyze answered questions and offer their opinion and these can be a real eye-opener when making hiring decisions. Personality testing will reveal a lot.

You also need to utilize a “getting to know each other period.” Make it clear the employee is “in training” and don’t utilize the words “probationary period.” If it doesn’t end up working out, most states follow the “At-Will” clause and you can simply terminate the relationship saying “It wasn’t a good fit.” For cases such as these, make sure you keep documentation on bad behaviors to back up your termination decision.

Have you ever hired someone you regretted hiring? What was the problem and was if fixable or were you forced to terminate the employee? I’d like to know your thoughts.

And, as far as Charles Manson goes, I don’t expect he’ll get parole and even if he did—who in the world would hire this guy? I know, I said I’d rather take a parolee than a face-eater but Charles Manson? Hell no!

Sources:

LA Times Story – April 5, 2012, “Charles Manson, now 77, gets new chance at parole” retrieved April 5, 2012.

Image Credit: California Department of Corrections / Corcoran State Prison

Bill Clinton Says Obama Will Be Reelected (But, He Doesn’t Get It Quite Right)

MSNBC online offered up a video of The Daily Rundown with Chuck Todd (link below). Todd spoke with Luke Russert, a Capitol Hill correspondent, who interviewed former President Bill Clinton.

According to Clinton, President Obama will be reelected. Clinton points out a few reasons including:

More people perceive the economy is getting better and more people will vote in the 2012 election. He also went on to say “Americans are fair and will give you another chance.”

I guess the above claims by Clinton mean we Americans feel bad because all that hopey / changey stuff didn’t work, the economy is bad but we forgive you and yes, let’s go out in full force and vote, vote, vote—but excuse me, what did you do exactly again Mr. Obama?

Russert asked Clinton if the age group known as the Millenials will be able to get jobs due to the economic crisis our country is facing. His response? “The unemployment numbers are not the Millenials fault.”

I guess I agree with that—after all some were still in high school or college when this whole financial mess started. And, Obama did inherit some awful issues with his presidency—there’s no doubt about that but the ways he chooses to make them better isn’t working Mr. Clinton.

Obamacare to me is more like a “do it or else” plan which could hurt small business owners everywhere among other groups. While many are optimistic the Supreme Court won’t overturn Obamacare, I don’t think Obama will be reelected so I do think the new President will veto the entire plan—with the blessing of the House and Senate.

You can’t just blame Obama either. He was the chosen one by those who wanted him in office and once he didn’t kneel, bow and yield to their desires they abandoned him like a hot potato.

So, this junior senator from Illinois had to go it alone essentially and junior senators may not be qualified to handle the top job—especially when those who wanted him in office turned their backs on him.

I don’t expect the supporters of Romney or Gingrich or Santorum will abandon their candidates if they are elected. Why? Because as much as I hate to say this since I’m a Republican, the GOP these days are full of themselves and no matter who wins, they’ll be behind them 100 percent.

These supporters don’t want hope and “yes we can.” Instead they want actions that are conservative in nature but also want what most Americans are concerned with now—keeping industry here and getting our jobs back. In my opinion (as you well know) Obama and his Auto Task Force ruined the auto industry and just last night while watching 60 Minutes on CBS, I think Obama also ruined the lives of many NASA workers.

60 Minutes reporter Scott Pelley went to Brevard County Florida, the home of the Kennedy Space Center and since the shuttle program has been shut down, the entire county looks like a ghost town. People interviewed cried but were full of pride they live in America and are proud to be Americans but when homes are foreclosed upon and business are shutting down left and right, it’s hard to support the choice to end the shuttle program was a prudent one.

The Scott Pelley report also showed a stop by in Brevard County from Obama during his campaign where he promised NASA folks he wanted to save their jobs and utilize their expertise. If you watch him speaking to these folks, it’s almost like a 100 percent-sure-fire promise he’ll be there when they need him—that’s another “yes we can” item Obama found out he “couldn’t do” or “wouldn’t do.”

Of course there is that old Debt SuperCommittee that I feel could have been run better if NFL QB Peyton Manning would have been in charge. Since the committee couldn’t decide on what to cut in the budget, now there are automatic budget cuts which can’t be stopped. This means losses of things like the space shuttle program and who knows, maybe even cuts to funding food shelters for the homeless.

God forbid the government consider cutting political terms, benefits and spiffs. No, sorry folks, no can do!

I think the government would rather see the Post Office go under and force people to utilize places like FedEx or UPS instead of cutting salaries, terms and bennies.

I don’t think Clinton is right—Barack Obama will not win a second term. There are simply too many angry people who feel betrayed by him—even if most of the tragedies he inherited were not his fault.

Still, when you have the top job, you have to be accountable to those who elected you and when we are stuck with a President who appears to have no control and is full of broken promises, that accountability weakens—very, very fast.

Chuck Todd: The Daily Rundown

Image Credit: Bob McNeely / The White House / Wikimedia Commons

Palm Sunday, Good Friday and Easter: A Fallen Catholic’s Point of View

My Mom and Dad ran away to get married back in the 1940s. They had to because he was Italian and Catholic and she was a Methodist along with too many nationalities to list—she’s sort of the Heinz 57 flavor.

Needless to say, my Mom agreed to allow my Dad to raise us four girls Catholic and we marched to Catechism school on Saturday mornings (missing cartoons) and church at Sacred Heart on Sundays—although my Mom didn’t attend mass.

Mom did try to help us study our lessons though. My eldest sister was trying to say the Act of Contrition while my Mom patiently listened:

“Oh my God I am ‘partly” sorry for having offended thee,” she started.

“I’m not Catholic honey, but I don’t think that’s how it goes,” Mom spouted. “I don’t think God wants you to be “partly sorry” but “heartily sorry” for offending thee!”

My Mom endured the Communion dresses and parties and the Confirmation slaps from the bishop and even more family get-togethers.

When we were very small yet old enough to confess our sins, we’d ask her what we should confess.

“I didn’t sin Mummy!” I’d say. “What should I confess to?”

“Well you were mean to your sister yesterday,” she said.

“Is that a sin?” I asked.

“Probably knowing those Catholics!” She muffed.

Every once in a while Daddy would give her a stern look like Don’t be using blasphemous terms to talk about my religion—especially in front of the girls!

Catechism was sort of dumb. As I got older I realized the nun that taught the Saturday morning class had the same lesson each and every week. She’d start with Christ’s birth and draw a timeline on the blackboard. She never, ever made it to the end because she didn’t have enough time before each class ended. So next week, we’d start all over again. Why couldn’t she just continue on the next Saturday? Hmm?

I am what folks would call a fallen Catholic now. I do believe in God and Jesus and I pray to them in my own way—usually every Sunday morning when I attend St. Mattress on the Springs! I believe what my Mom believes that God and Jesus hear prayers wherever they are—not just in Roman Catholic Churches.

When my father died in 1982, all of my sisters suddenly announced they weren’t Catholic anymore. Jeez! Really?

So, it was up to me to call good old Sacred Heart Church and ask the priest what my Catholic uncles told me to: “What’s the offering Father.” Or, how much of my Mom’s money do you want to say a Funeral Mass?

At the Mass, the priest who I shall never forget starting his homily. With my Mom hurting badly after losing her lifetime partner, friend and lover sat in the front row, the priest shouted:

“No one will enter Heaven unless they are of the Roman Catholic faith!”

I wanted to punch the dude after that but I was pretty sure if I did, I’d be ex-communicated.

You see if you’re raised Catholic lessons and ceremonial-type things are pounded into your head. The nuns seemed 10 feet tall and you never ever said Hi or Hey to the priests at the church—they were much taller—or at least they appeared to be to this small kid.

It’s sort of being assimilated according to my son-in-law. He often informs me when he discusses how superior Apple products are: “Soon you will be assimilated too!” He frowns on my PC-related gadgets and thinks I need an iPhone and iPad ASAP! I asked him if I could have his iPad2 since he was going to get an iPad three but he looked at me funny. I guess that meant “no.”

These days, my kids are grown so I don’t go to mass, not even on Christmas or Easter. I try not to eat meat on Good Friday but I never give up anything for lent. I never go to confession either.

If I happen to go to a Catholic funeral mass or a Catholic wedding mass, I do go to Communion because I have memorized the Act of Contrition and think if I say it in my head, God does indeed forgive me so I don’t feel bad about eating the wafer or the “Body of Christ.”

Still, if someone asks me if I am a religious person or what faith I follow, I do say “I’m Catholic.” When in fact, I don’t do anything Catholic at all!

There’s no real point to all of this. Since it’s Palm Sunday, I was just thinking about how badly I’ve fallen off my religious-upbringing-wagon but oh well!

At least I’m not Newt Gingrich. He was a bible reborn type, switched to the Methodist faith and today he claims he’s Catholic. Hmm? How’s that working out for you dude?

Me?  I’m too afraid of the Pope to change!

Image Credits: 

Catholic Nun / Wikimedia Commons / Public Domain

Catholic Priests in Rome / Wikimedia Commons / Pensiero